Ryan Atkinson
Psalm 34:15-22 (Selected Verses)
I am “Nerv-ited” this morning, family. That’s right. I am “Nerv-ited” this morning. I want to start off a bit differently this morning and offer you this term, “Nerv-ited,” which I learned recently during Vacation Bible School a few weeks ago here at Trinity. Its meaning on the surface is simple. But if you go a few layers deeper, it can mean so much more than just a combination of “nervous” and “excited.” So why am I nervous and excited today? Well, first, I’m nervous because it’s my Sunday to preach, and that always brings some level of anxiousness. But I’m also nervous because this is a very real psalm that forces us to ask ourselves tough questions and tests our faith. I’m nervous because it brings to light a saying that I have heard from a young age and wrestled with most of my life: “Praise God in the good times and praise God in the bad times.” It’s easy to praise God when the sun is shining, and the temps are ideal. But how do you praise God when not only is it raining, but the flood waters of life are rushing in and washing everything away? Can we really trust that in our darkest moments, God is not just watching but is actively working to bring about our deliverance? At the same time, I am also excited today because it is my Sunday to preach, and I absolutely love the Psalms. The richness, the poetic flow, some of the lamenting that I can directly relate to, and the unique thanksgiving that the Psalters offer. This psalm is a roadmap of sorts that shows us how to trust God when we’re having a bad day, a bad week, a bad month, or even a bad year. That reassures, affirms, and comforts. It assures believers of God’s active care and protection, particularly in times of suffering.
But before we get too deep, I’d like to share a story with you. By now, I’m sure that many of you know of or have met my wife and our increasingly active son Isaac—who is living up to the meaning of his name, by the way. What some of you may not know is how close we came to potentially losing Isaac just before the third trimester. Everything had been going to plan, and since we had experienced two miscarriages a few years prior, we were taking every precaution that two people could take. During week twenty-six, on a Friday afternoon, Kasey was resting on the couch and talking on the phone with one of her friends who just happened to be a trauma nurse, and I was enjoying my last days of freedom by indulging in a video game before starting my third year at Union when Kasey realized something was not right. So, I went over concerned and asked how she was feeling and was met with a satisfactory report with the addition of what was believed to be a little incontinence. Thankfully, her friend overheard our conversation and suggested that we get to the emergency room immediately to rule out any serious medical issues. We initially hesitated because we did not think much of it, and I had a speaking engagement later that evening. But after her friend reassured her that it was better to be safe than sorry, we agreed to go. We called Kasey’s doctor, and she agreed that it would be good if she were seen. Thankfully, again, we were seen right away and were told that Kasey was three centimeters dilated and Isaac was attempting to make an early appearance. Kasey would need to be stabilized and admitted, but there was no guarantee that she would not deliver. We were both in shock.
Again, thankfully, the magnesium and other medications were working, and Isaac seemed to be okay with staying put. However, unfortunately, this hospital was not equipped to handle premature births before twenty-eight weeks, and Kasey would need to be transported to the Antepartum Unit at CMC Main. Again, we were both in shock. The next 24-48 hours would be crucial. While she was preparing Kasey for the transfer, our doula gave me the assignment to run to our house and gather some necessities for her stay there. Of course, I didn’t want to leave Kasey’s side, but the doula assured me that all would be fine and she would want some comforting items from home.
As I rushed to grab what we needed, my mind raced with worry and uncertainty about what the future held for our family. About the racial disparities that black women face in giving birth in America. In fact, the CDC reports that black women are three to four times more likely to die from pregnancy-related complications compared to white women.[1] This sobering statistic only added to my anxiety. I then began to fuss and cuss at God and proceeded to turn into someone who I didn’t recognize. “Why?!?” I yelled. “Why is this happening?” “We can’t go through this again, God! My soul cannot take it!” I cried. “If my family is taken away, Lord, I don’t think I can play for your team anymore or recruit new players. At least not for the interim,” I lamented. No answer. “Why don’t you say something…”
I imagine that David felt the same way as he cried out to God in the Psalms. Up to this point in history, David had experienced many trials and tribulations that would crush anyone’s spirit. I’m sure there were times when he wasn’t sure how it would pan out. From his bout with Goliath to that mess of a relationship with Saul to abusing his office and power by committing adultery with Bathsheba and having Uriah, her husband, killed, to the misgivings of David’s offspring, David’s life was full of challenges and uncertainties. He experienced brokenheartedness on more than one occasion. Yet, through it all, and as we see in the Psalms, David remained faithful and sought solace in God’s presence. But how? How, in the heat of turmoil, can we be faithful and find solace in God’s presence?
Life is tough. This Christian life is tougher! When we were baptized, I’m pretty sure Pastor Steve or the minister who baptized you did not wave a magic wand and yell “Evanesco”[2] to cast all your current and future afflictions into the abyss. Accepting and following Christ doesn’t mean our days will be trouble-free—if anything, they’ll multiply. We live in a fallen world, and we are not immune from its troubles. Just like David, we may face bullying, various types of abuse, losses of all types, being ostracized from our peer group, and loneliness. Verses 17, 18, and 19 attest to this fact. There will be times when we will cry out to Jesus for help, and it’ll feel like we are by ourselves. There will be times when the weight of the world will break our spirits down.
In verse 18, we see the phrase “crushed in spirit.” The translation of this phrase can also mean “to be pulverized into dust.” Think about that for a second: “to be pulverized into dust.” These words perfectly capture the emotion I was going through as I left Kasey and Isaac with her doula and headed home to gather some belongings. We may not think that anyone has gone through what we are going through or that they may not understand. That’s a very lonely feeling. There are things that you have experienced that I haven’t gone through, and vice versa. But the truth is, God in Christ knows our pain intimately. God has experienced the human experience, has he not? His own people have harassed and bullied him, driven him from town to town, and misunderstood, misquoted, misinterpreted, misrepresented, and all other possible “mis-s.” God has felt and experienced every human emotion, from apathy to depression, from anger to happiness, and from hunger to exhaustion. God has even had to witness his only son being railroaded and subsequently murdered by the state. God knows what it feels like to lose a child.
God is near not just because we are his beloved and He loves us but also because He knows what we are going through. Despite the challenges we may face, it is important to remember that we are not alone in our struggles. The strength and comfort we seek can be found in turning to Jesus during our darkest moments. Even when we are at our worst, knowing that God is right there walking with us through the fire is more than comforting. It’s liberating that we don’t have to suffer and walk alone. That God is wholly present with us always! That our cries have not fallen upon deaf ears. That God is there in the midst of our troubles and that God will rescue us from our difficulties. We have the privilege of going to a God that has experienced the human experience. One that has had his heart broken. One that has been ridiculed, spat upon, bullied, and abused physically and emotionally–by his own people, no less. Talked about, lied about, cheated on, and swindled, and one who witnessed the murder of his only child.
So, trust me when I say that God knows, God cares, and God will come through! In every situation, from the smallest to the tallest, take God into consideration, and you will be a different kind of person. Nothing will be lacking from your life because you will have filled up everything with God. Our troubles may multiply, grow exponentially, and pile on at the same time, but is not God bigger than our problems? The same God that we claim to love and serve. The same God that we attribute all of creation to. The same God that walked with us yesterday, walking with us today, and promises to be with us tomorrow—that God? I believe so. I believe the God we serve and love is able to do more than anyone can fathom.
Our hearts may be broken for a while, but God will deliver on his promise to deliver us! Our spirits may be crushed and pulverized into dust, but God will deliver on His promise to deliver us! If God can deliver Sarah and Abraham, Hagar, Moses, Isaac, Jacob, and Joseph, Rahab and Ruth, Job, Deborah and Jael, David, all of the prophets and Israelites, all of the people Jesus healed, and the apostle Paul from those seemingly impossible situations, then I know that he can deliver us too! All we have to do is trust and be open to the different ways God moves and reaches us in the world. It may not happen when you want it to. The end result may not look the way you think it should. But that’s ok. God’s ways are not our ways. God knows us better than we’ll ever know ourselves. He created us, so why not trust Him?
There are those who may not be fully convinced, and that’s cool. I get it. We’re human. We have logical thought patterns, and sometimes, it’s hard to understand the mysteries of faith. I admit it took my analytical mind a while to come full circle, but it can happen. To you, I offer verse 15:
“The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their cry.”
God is paying special attention to each of us! From the youngest to the most seasoned. From the blandest to the spiciest. God is listening to us all. Looking behind us to help us learn from our mistakes. Looking ahead of us to help us manage any trouble that may come. Looking at us with His heart and with love. His presence is always there, guiding us and providing comfort in times of need. I think of this as how I look at our son Isaac. Whether he is doing something good or bad, I’m looking at him with my heart and with love—he is my own. If he is doing well, I cheer him on. If he messes up, that’s ok. Let me help you. Show you where you went wrong so that you don’t make the same mistake again and possibly help someone else who may be making a similar mistake. This is what God does with us! God knows what we need even before we realize what we need. God’s ears are always bent towards us! Always there, waiting to hear our cry. Always there, waiting to listen to what we are going through.
How do I know this? Because I am able to stand before you right now. I think back to all of the unnecessary risks that I took, all of the things I said and did and did not do, and the places I had absolutely no business at. If it had not been for the Lord on my side, where would I be? So, I know for a fact that if God heard my cries and delivered me, I know without a shadow of a doubt that he is listening and will act. He is always there, waiting to listen and cheer us on to our victories on good days and console us in our defeats on our bad days. God gives his full attention to those who give themselves to His work in the world.
So, I challenge us today and, in the days, to come to do as Steve said last week in his sermon and be open. Open to the sometimes-mysterious ways the Lord works in our circumstances. Open to believing that God in Christ has experienced what we may be going through. Open to crying out to Jesus and knowing that he is listening. Open to giving Christ a chance.
In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
[1] https://www.cdc.gov/womens-health/features/maternal-mortality.html