Ryan Atkinson
John 6:1-15 (Selected Verses)
Has your faith ever been challenged? I mean, your back is against the wall, and you have run out of options, and you don’t know what to do or where to turn. You’ve done all that you know to do, and as far as you can tell, the result is still the same—and you may feel like throwing in the towel. You feel defeated and overwhelmed. You feel like you’re at the end of your rope. That is where I’m at today. I am sure that many of you have seen the news or read on your preferred social media platform about yet another killing of an unarmed African American by the very people charged to protect and serve her. Hearing this news yet again is exhausting and soul-crushing, and I’m beginning to wonder if anything we do makes a difference. I’m beginning to wonder if anything we do makes a difference in ending this cycle of violence and injustice.
Trayvon Martin, age 17
Eric Garner, age 43
Michael Brown, age 18
Tamir Rice, age 12
Eric Harris, age 44
Freddie Gray, age 25
Sandra Bland, age 28
Alton Sterling, age 37
Philando Castile, age 32
Ahmaud Arbery, age 25
Breonna Taylor, age 26
George Floyd, age 46
And now Sonya Massey, age 36[1]
I am sure that most of you recognize some, if not all, of these names that I have just read as unarmed African American victims of police brutality. And now Sonya Massey, age 36, has also become a victim of this tragic pattern. Unfortunately, this list is only a snapshot of the names that got the most press. There are so many names that I did not read that should be read. My heart cries out for the families of all those who have suffered because of police brutality, for the lives lost, for those stories that may never be told, and for the injustice that has occurred. My soul hurts for this nation, this society that seems to have gone numb to these heinous acts. My faith hurts because I wonder if we will ever change. My faith hurts because I don’t know if what I am doing is helping eradicate this epidemic. It is past time for us to come together and demand change to end this cycle of violence and injustice. As I look at this list and the greater list online, these sisters and brothers look just like me. They look just like my wife, my son, my brother, my parents, cousins, aunties, uncles, and friends, and I begin to wonder who’s next?
At times like this, I am grateful that God sees us and knows our hearts. That God has experienced these feelings before and always shows up in interesting ways. So you can imagine my surprise and excitement when I saw the lectionary text for today. A miracle that was so fantastic and mysterious that even John—the wordsmith of the Gospels—couldn’t offer any more details. I don’t believe anyone would argue that we could use more miracles in the world today, but I believe that our text goes a bit deeper. Let’s take a look.
To give a little background, if we look back at chapter five, Jesus has just committed a Jewish faux pas by working (healing) on the Sabbath. The Jewish authorities, of course, were not pleased with him and were rebuking, persecuting, and began plotting to kill him for his actions, as working on the sabbath was illegal, and for blasphemy by claiming that God was his father. Jesus does not back down and is very clear of what he has come to do. The same large crowd that undoubtedly witnessed or heard about Jesus healing the disabled man on the mat on the Sabbath in chapter five follows Jesus in chapter six. Jesus is gaining in popularity for the wrong reasons and is trying to get away to regroup with his disciples after the previous events. All of this while under the Roman thumb of oppression.
The crowds are following Jesus because they are intrigued by his miracles and teachings, and I’m pretty sure that most of us would be too. But I find it interesting what Jesus does here in verse five with the crowd: He doesn’t panic. He doesn’t get angry or dismayed. He doesn’t want to send them away. He wants to care for them. Stick a pin in that for a second. Then Jesus does something else that puzzles me: He decides to throw a pop quiz at Philip while there are 5000+ hungry individuals present. “Where are we to buy bread for these people to eat?” We are left with more questions than answers here. Why would Jesus ask this at this time? I can imagine the look on Philip’s face when Jesus asked this question. Perhaps Jesus is calling Philip and us to examine our faith in him a bit deeper. “Who do you believe that I am when your back is against the wall? “How robust is your faith in a time of need?”
Although Philip failed the test, it doesn’t mean that he should be chided or not learned from. Philip’s response is very human and very real. Some of us would probably respond in a similar fashion—I would because I have. I mean, we’re talking about feeding 5000+ people. It feels like an insurmountable task. It is almost not even worth attempting, so I get where Philip is coming from. Philip looks at the growing problem from only one angle and seems dejected, discouraged, disconnected, and not sure which way to go. It’s like Philip is only looking at the issue from the standpoint of what they don’t have or what they can’t do. Some would say that Philip is a bit pessimistic. He doesn’t pay attention to who or what is in front of him. He can only see the problem and not the power of God sitting right beside him. How many insurmountable tasks or events have we faced this year or in our lives? How many of us have looked past what was right there in front of us and only saw a problem that was too big for us and God? How many of us only focused on one aspect of the issue or problem and threw in the towel when we hit a snag? How many of us don’t know which way to turn?
After Philip strikes out, Andrew comes into the picture. I don’t think Andrew understands the significance of what he does by bringing the boy to Jesus. Andrew brings hope and, perhaps more importantly, a starting place. Andrew’s optimism saw Jesus’ concern and took action. His optimism laid out what resources he could find before the Lord. No matter how little the quantity or how poor the quality, it is all laid before Jesus. Andrew is checking all the boxes, but in his optimism, he begins to question the abilities of God. Andrew’s response, like Philip’s, is very real and very human—we have something, but it’s nowhere near what we need to make a difference, nor is its quality. Andrew doesn’t think that his contribution will matter in the long run—and yeah—when we look at it from his perspective, we can see why he would say this. Neither of these gentlemen can’t see the forest for the trees. Both of these gentlemen believe that their contributions will be a waste of time. Both men are looking only at one aspect of the issue.
As I read and meditate on these verses and these two disciples, it reminds me of my time with a community group, the Reimagine America Project, or RAP for short, that I have been a part of since I started seminary. Community leaders and clergy from RAP come together to highlight social injustices in distinctive ways, including educational disparities, voter rights, criminal justice reform, environmental rights, and bridging the gap between various demographics, to name a few. I have been a part of a number of organizations and groups that deal with issues ranging from closing the poverty gap to reducing gun violence, and in each group, I felt these feelings of “This is not enough. What I am doing and what we are doing does not feel adequate. The gap is not narrowing; instead, it’s growing so much so that in some states, it is just as easy to buy ammunition as it is bananas and grapes!” Now RAP doesn’t handle all of these at one time. There are subgroups for each area.
I had been a part of the education wing since I began and got off to a good start. I was excited to understand better how the state was handling teacher pay and curriculum and bringing forth more equity among students. This is good work! Or, as the late Congressman John Lewis would say, “good trouble.” But after a series of legislative setbacks and inaction, my interest began to wane, and I began to wonder if what we were doing mattered. I eventually took a break from the group under the convenient guise of having too much on my plate, which was not entirely untrue. I was taking three classes, getting ready to start a student interim pastor position at Quail Hollow, and, most importantly, Kasey was pregnant. After a nice break and graduating, I recently returned to RAP with renewed vigor greater than what I began with. However, more setbacks and grief in the form of Project 2025 and our state actively trying to end public schools by diverting millions from public schools to private charter institutions. More grief in the form of our state refusing to pay teachers for their master’s degree, let alone fairly. And they wonder why teachers are leaving in droves to other states or into other careers all together. This is only scratching the surface, but it was a grief that I could not bear. Those feelings of “what good could I do to change this?” began to well up inside me again.
Now I want you to know something about me. I’m not a quitter. I know how to get back up once life has knocked you down. I’ve played sports most of my life, and oftentimes it was neither the biggest nor the fastest nor the meanest, and I got knocked down more times than I’m willing to admit, but I got back up! But this was not a physical pain. It was a spiritual grief that hurt me to my core. I come from a long line of educators, and I even married one. Some of you may be thinking, “Why didn’t you ask them or your friends in the group why they continue to do what they do?” And you’re right! I don’t know why I didn’t just ask them. Maybe I felt that I already knew how they’d respond, or perhaps I was fearful of what I might hear.
In any case, I didn’t ask, and I continued to carry this dread. As I was about to repeat the same mistake and leave the group again this week, the Holy Spirit—the Divine Whisperer—pointed out three things to me while I was at the doctor’s office—funny how that happens. As I was studying our text for this week while waiting for my name to be called, I could not tear myself away from verse 9 while waiting in the lobby. There was something there, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I could not let it go. As I continued to look at every possible angle, I noticed an elderly woman sitting in front of me work her way out of her seat, grab her walker, and begin to make her way over to a father and his daughters playing in the corner beside me. What she did next shook me. She extended her hand with a piece of gum and offered it to the family. The girls took the gum and thanked her. I thought the interaction was over, but then she proceeded to have a friendly chat with the girls. After the conversation, she made her way back to her seat and sat down. A kind, simple gesture that we may not see every day. I thought it was nice of her, and I went on pondering verse 9 as if I just didn’t witness a miracle. I’m sure Jesus was rolling his eyes at me.
Fast forward about 30 minutes, and the doctor is encouraging me to exercise more and watch my weight. Tell me something that I don’t know, doc. But it was at that very moment that Jesus tried to get my attention again. As the doctor was speaking, he said something that stopped me. In relation to making diet and exercise changes, he says, “Don’t try to do it all at one time. Otherwise, you run the risk of overwhelming yourself, and you may quit. Start small and build up some momentum, and then you can begin to add and do more. But whatever you do, do something.” WOW! It was like my doctor knew everything I was going through! Some may say coincidence, but I say providence! You can’t tell me that God did not have a hand in those words! Sometimes we may only have five loaves and two fish, but that’s ok! We serve a God that can take those five loaves and two fish and feed the multitudes! The Lady in the Lobby—perhaps that should be the sermon title—” The Lady in the Lobby.” The lady in the lobby only had a few sticks of gum and a dose of kindness and faith and look what Jesus did! Jesus fed four people in five minutes. Who knows what else could come from those five minutes? Perhaps the lesson here is that we should never underestimate the power of what little we have to offer, as God can work miracles with even the smallest acts of faith and kindness if we believe!
There is no telling what Jesus can do with what we bring to him. Should we not bring everything to Him? Jesus is limitless! When we bring whatever we’re bringing him—whether it’s five loaves and two fish or 5000 loaves and 2000 fish—Jesus can do miraculous things! Now if you recall, earlier in our talk, I asked you to put a pin in verse five with Jesus’ question to Philip that started it all. In Jesus’ question to Philip, he asks, “What are ‘we’ to do?” “We.” Not “I,” not “you,” but “we.” In looking at the Greek here, its first-person plural, which means you and I or we. Jesus is going to do this with Philip. This issue is important to Jesus also, and he is willing to jump in with us and help! We must remember that Jesus walks with us during our tribulations and hard times, and it is not a question of “if” Jesus can deliver us but “how” Jesus will deliver us. Jesus has been there from the start and will be there in the end with us! That’s powerful stuff! When we bring what we have to Jesus, he can do miraculous things!
There may be someone here today or online in the middle of having their faith tested and feeling overwhelmed, may not have much to offer, or may not know where to start. To you, I say hold on! I can’t tell you where to start or how much is enough for your situation, but I can suggest trying prayer. I know that it’s not a flashy or exciting answer, but it’s a step in the right direction. Trusting in Jesus during times of trial can lead to unexpected blessings and miracles. Let’s encourage each other to lean on Jesus and have faith that he will see us through any challenges we may face.