Rev. Nick Cheek
Jeremiah 31: 31-34 and Matthew 1: 18-25
This morning, we are focusing on Joseph, the earthly father of Jesus. Joseph’s presence in the Gospels is fairly limited. After Jesus’ birth, he doesn’t show up very often. Joseph is not present with Mary at the crucifixion of Jesus. He is also absent when Jesus performs the first miracle of turning water into wine. This has led many scholars to assume Joseph was no longer living when Jesus reached his 30’s. The last time we encounter Joseph is when Jesus is twelve years old; he gets lost in Jerusalem. After a frantic search, Mary and Joseph finally find him teaching adults in the temple about God. We don’t have pages in the Bible devoted to Joseph; however, his relatively small presence in the gospels should not be taken as a sign of unimportance. Joseph is a significant figure in this story that we share. Without his faith, his loyalty, and his love… we would have a completely different picture of the nativity.
Scripture Reading:
18 Now the birth of Jesus the Messiah[a] took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be pregnant from the Holy Spirit. 19 Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to divorce her quietly. 20 But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21 She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” 22 All this took place to fulfill what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet:
23 “Look, the virgin shall become pregnant and give birth to a son,
and they shall name him Emmanuel,”
which means, “God is with us.” 24 When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took her as his wife 25 but had no marital relations with her until she had given birth to a son,[b] and he named him Jesus.
Our story this morning picks up after Mary, having been visited by an angel, accepts in her heart that a baby has been conceived within her by the Holy Spirit. After receiving the news, Mary travels to visit her cousin Elizabeth and stays with her for about three months. There is no indication in the birth narrative that Mary tells Joseph any of this before she leaves… and perhaps for good reason. Mary is most likely scared… worried… confused. The life she had imagined with Joseph may already feel like it is slipping away before it has even begun. Questions: may have filled her mind… worries, doubts… . – Would she end up caring for this child alone? Or worse, would Joseph report her to the religious authorities… would she face condemnation… a trial… public shame?
With all of this on her heart, Mary goes where so many of us go when life turns upside down – to someone who will understand. She goes to Elizabeth.
The three months they share together matter greatly. Elizabeth had gone through her own season of longing and disappointment, waiting many painstaking years for her child to arrive. They likely prayed together, worked side by side, shared meals, and spoke openly about each other’s hopes and fears of motherhood. Elizabeth gives Mary the space to breathe, to grieve, and to begin trusting what God is bringing. After Elizabeth gives birth to John the Baptist, Mary gathers enough courage to return home… her first trimester complete. Her home was in Nazareth, a small town with a population of a few hundred. With all small cities, it’s hard for anyone to keep their lives private, no matter how hard they try – especially pregnancy. A young woman leaving town for three months and returning… and possibly showing… would not go unnoticed. It was only a matter of time before the news spread about them. The town would undoubtedly have its fun spilling the tea. “Can you believe Mary and Joseph – did you hear… and they aren’t even married yet….” “What kind of man would want to stay with Mary after all this?” “Whose baby is it?” “Bless their hearts.”
Mary and Joseph would not only have to worry about being the talk of the town; they also had to deal with the laws and customs of their culture. In their day and age… the law of the land was clear – engagement was a binding legal arrangement. Mary wasn’t just engaged in a modern sense—she was betrothed to Joseph. In the first-century Judean world, if someone in this position wanted to end the engagement, it could require a public and formal dissolution. Our scripture this morning calls it a “public disgrace,” which would be devastating for Mary, the baby, and her entire future. Additionally, there is another dynamic at play—Joseph, being a man in this setting, held most of the power. In the first-century Judean world, men controlled legal decisions, public status, and social protection. Only Joseph had the authority to publicly expose Mary, or to end their relationship quietly. Mary had no legal voice in this matter. Her future—her reputation, security, and standing in the community…right or wrong… depended almost entirely on Joseph’s decisions.
Though Joseph’s weight to bear in the Christmas story cannot come close to rivaling Mary’s, he still carries one. And the question our scripture asks is this – what will he do? How will he handle this situation? What is the right way forward? Matthew’s Gospel doesn’t give us pages and pages of internal dialogue for Joseph, and so we have to make some assumptions about what he was thinking and discerning. I personally believe that Joseph shared the same hopes with Mary… one of a future together. I believe, like every newly engaged couple, that they envisioned having adventures: building a home, starting a life, and even beginning a family together… perhaps just not like this. [Pause] Don’t we all have
dreams of the way our lives are supposed to be, how they’re supposed to look? – Two perfect, healthy kids, a golden retriever, successful careers, a white picket fence, and so on. But how often do they go according to plan? Do they ever? People make mistakes, we all experience failures, and even shame. Life is a mixed bag. If you’ve lived long enough, you know this. There is no perfect family out there. No perfect relationship, no perfect marriage. Behind every planned Christmas portrait, we each have personal stories. Stories of regret, stories of pain, stories of missed opportunities, stories of seasons that we almost didn’t make it through. Friends, our carefully detailed plans are almost always met with road humps and unexpected turns. That’s life… life isn’t perfect. Life is messy… and the Holy Family’s story is no different.
Our passage this morning calls Joseph a righteous man. He was upright, moral, and honorable, but he was also a man devoted to proper behavior… to living according to the ways of that time. He had to be, because it was expected. And so… what would Joseph’s righteousness play out in this situation? How can he respect the law, but also love Mary at the same time?
In the Gospel of Matthew, righteousness is seen as living in harmony with God’s kingdom. To Matthew, righteousness looks like actions that protect life, honor dignity, and show God’s grace in the world. This perspective is particularly evident in Matthew’s portrayal of Joseph. To that end, our scripture says that Joseph “being righteous, was unwilling to expose Mary to public disgrace…” (Matt. 1:19). Pay attention to that word church… Joseph was unwilling. Unwilling to play a part in the public preying, unwilling to participate in the spectacle, unwilling to protect his honor over Mary’s, unwilling… even with feelings of betrayal in his heart, to cause harm. Joseph was unwilling to let his confusion, his disappointment, or his wounded reputation be resolved through shaming Mary. And therefore, he chooses the more compassionate route. Joseph does his best to take the law seriously without letting it become a tool for harm. Carolyn Osiek, in her work on honor and shame in the New Testament world, supports this idea. She teaches that in Mary’s culture, a woman’s fidelity wasn’t only a private matter—it bore on her entire social standing and future prospects. Shame was public punishment, not merely embarrassment. Men in that day were expected to protect their families’ honor. And so, when Joseph chooses not to expose Mary, he is stepping outside the dominant social patterns of accusation and judgment… and he uses his social position to protect rather than condemn. Matthew calls Joseph righteous because he remains faithful to Torah and to Mary. Joseph chooses the most merciful path the law allows. And he makes this decision… before the dream, he makes it before the visit of the angel, before he understands God’s grand plan.
And so, with his mind made up, planning to dismiss Mary quietly, an angel of the lord visits Joseph in a dream. “Joseph,” the angel says, “Do not be afraid. Do not be afraid of what people might think or say. Do not be afraid of their judgment. Life isn’t perfect, Joseph, but God’s love is. Do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife – to have and to hold… to love and to grow old with. Do not be afraid to do what is loving instead of what is expected by the world… do not be afraid to follow your heart… because God is moving Joseph… God is moving mightily in and through this situation. God is as work! Do you see it… can you feel it… do you trust it? “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21 She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus,[f] because he will save his people from their sins.”
And we know the rest of the story – and the rest of the story is just as uncertain… just as messy, just as challenging. Joseph and Mary take another righteous step forward together. And their faithful obedience to God’s will does not really make their life simpler or safer. It makes it riskier. Neither one of them fully understands what God is up to… only that they are asked to make room for what God is up to. Mary says yes without knowing how her community will respond. Joseph says yes without knowing how the story will unfold. There is no road map… no complete assurances… no promises of a perfect future from here on out. They step into God’s plan without guarantees… only a faith in God and in each other. And that’s life… that’s how most of our stories go. We often don’t know what the future holds…Most of the time, we have to walk forward, trusting in God’s grace and love as our guide… and trusting in the people in our lives we walk this road alongside. Again… isn’t that why the Christmas story is so relatable, because we can find our own stories within it. Our own stories of twists and turns… are our own stories of taking steps of faith into the unknown, our own stories of detours, road humps, and unexpected events. Our own stories of trusting that, somehow and in some way, God’s grace is walking with us through it all.
Mary and Joseph were picked… the holy family. Selected to raise the Son of God. To hold him, feed him, raise him, teach him, laugh with him, discipline him, cry with him… and to eventually let him go. And through Mary and Joseph, God was birthing a new way… a way of love… a love made perfect through the Word made flesh, the Prince of Peace, the great I am… Emanuel, God with us. Love was breaking into our world through this imperfect couple – and everything… from then on would change. The very world as we know it.
Friends, as we continue our journey to the manger, hear the Good News delivered by the angel of God to Joseph, to Mary, and to us: Do not be afraid. For God is working… beyond our uncertainties… beyond our imperfections, beyond our frailties… beyond what we can see… or imagine. Thanks be to God.